


with a bow on top

by sakuflrt (temariya)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff without Plot, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Naruto is Just Naruto, Sexual Humor, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28277949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/temariya/pseuds/sakuflrt
Summary: “Merry Christmas!”“...what thehellare you doing?”“Look, you weren’t supposed to come home this early.”“Are you naked?”“Nn— yes and no.”Or - really terrible modern au w holiday narusasu
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92





	with a bow on top

**Author's Note:**

> _merry christmas!!_
> 
> _this is my very first fic, and i was very excited to write something holiday-themed. it's not very good at all, but i mostly wrote it just so i could get something out. i actually wrote this while i was at work on christmas eve, so that's why it's super short and bad. i also dealt with a lot of karens so please go easy on me haha. i want to write more and get better at it, so please don't be afraid to leave any criticisms or advice that you have, i'd really appreciate it!!_
> 
> _thanks so much for reading and i hope you don't mind how terrible it is, i'm really sorry :(_

“How do you go a _year_ —!”

“Eleven months and three weeks, actually.”

“— _a year_ and not have something in mind to buy him!”

While Naruto was used to getting yelled at, this one stung him in particular. It was the holiday season, and while he had gotten his boyfriend of two years a couple of small presents, he had procrastinated on finding the main big gift until today, the day before Christmas, which was probably a little late. And he wasn’t looking at a store at the moment or anything, he was actually just sitting at a mall café with his best friend, drinking a hot chocolate, and complaining about how he should be finding a gift instead of _actually doing it_.

Yeah, he was fucked.

“It’s December 24th, Naruto!” exclaimed Sakura, clearly frustrated but definitely not surprised. “Christmas is tomorrow!”

“I know,” he replied sheepishly.

She appeared to be in disbelief, and looked at him like he was insane. She gestured to the packed halls of stores, where husbands and wives and partners were quickly searching for last minute gifts. “Look at the mall! It’s packed! What are you even going to get him?! What’s left?!”

Naruto glanced around at the chaos unfolding right in front of his eyes. Even worse than not getting Sasuke a gift was the fact that he hadn’t even planned on getting him one at the mall. Not that he wasn’t going to get Sasuke a gift, he just… _couldn’t_? He knew he should, but something was stopping him. He came specifically to have coffee and hot chocolate with Sakura at their favorite store that only existed at this mall, not to buy the perfect gift for his perfect boyfriend who he loved a lot.

He sighed, shoulders dropping. “I don’t know.”

Still infuriated, Sakura placed her hands on her hips, mimicking an angry mother. “Why did you wait so long to get him something?!”

While it was a fair question, Naruto had a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why he procrastinated so long on Sasuke’s gift - Sasuke was _impossible_ to shop for. He didn’t like anything, and when Naruto tried to find him something he liked, his reactions seemed very forced, as if he was trying not to hurt his feelings, which was rare for Sasuke and definitely weirded Naruto out. Just the previous year, Naruto bought him a nice pair of shoes, which Sasuke smiled at, which was definitely disingenuous and not the angry and soulless boyfriend he had come to know and love. If he actually liked it, Sasuke would have no expression and just say ‘thanks’, but smile when he thought no one was watching.

Naruto couldn’t go through another year of fake smiles, not when Sasuke was so adorable in his usual sour mood. He had to find the perfect gift, but nothing seemed to work. What did Sasuke even like? Would this or that get the reaction he was looking for? He didn’t have many, or really any, hobbies, and Naruto couldn’t afford fancy jewelry or a car, and he wasn’t just going to settle for candy or a gift card or an envelope full of money, so what else could he get him?

With a whiny tone, Naruto confessed, “You know how he is - he doesn’t like anything I get him! I don’t know what he likes! I live with him, but I cannot tell you anything that he likes!”

“He likes coffee!” offered Sakura.

“So… I get him a gift card to here?”

She rolled her eyes. “You could’ve bought him a new coffee machine! The one you own is broken, remember? It takes ages to heat up.” Sakura sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose, hissing, “ _You could’ve bought him a Keurig_.”

“Oh… that’s a great gift idea.” Why didn’t he think of that? Sasuke complained all the time about their coffee maker! “Where were you on Black Friday?”

With a sip of her white chocolate mocha, Sakura said in a grave tone, “Look, we have to get him a gift now. We know he likes coffee. We know he likes…” She paused. She tilted her head and creased her brows in thought. Ah, she finally understood Naruto’s dilemma. “...rice? We know he likes… swords? Oh, damn, he is hard to shop for…”

Naruto snapped his fingers, as if he came up with a great idea. “He likes the color blue. Could I get him a jacket or something?”

Sakura shook her head. “He isn’t big into clothes.”

“You’re right. Uh… he likes snakes?”

She shook her head again. “You’re terrified of snakes.”

Naruto nodded. “Yeah. He… likes… me?”

Although it was a ridiculous suggestion and not something that helped their current situation, the random thought made Sakura giggle despite the stressful situation. “I’m sure your presence is a present to him, but I don’t think I need to tell you that it doesn’t help us with anything.”

“Ye-- Wait…”

Sakura watched as the dots were connected in Naruto’s mind. A small smile on his face appeared, and grew into a shiny grin.

“It’s perfect!”

“Huh?”

He bolted up from his chair, holding tightly to his drink. “Sakura, I’ll be right back!”

“What are you doing-- hey!”

And she chased after her friend as he sped away from the coffee shop, and into the throes of late Christmas shopping chaos.

* * *

Why were stores even still open on Christmas Eve?

It was a thought that plagued Sasuke’s mind as he exited his car, slamming the door shut. He had been stuck doing the late shift that holiday season, and was forced to deal with stupid rich people and stupid old men and stupid giggly young couples all day, and all for only eleven an hour.

He would have been in an even more terrible mood, if not for the text he received from Naruto just a few minutes before closing, promising to have a surprise ready. And since the roads were pretty much empty this close to midnight, Sasuke was able to get home earlier than he normally did, all in excitement for whatever his boyfriend was doing. Surprises normally meant he had bought food or a movie, and Sasuke was _ready_. It had been a long day at work, and all he wanted to do was stay up way too late, watch stupid Hallmark movies, drink hot chocolate, and cuddle with his adorable boyfriend.

So as he opened the door to their small abode, he was incredibly confused and majorly surprised by the sight of Naruto’s completely bare chest and legs, wearing a Santa hat, and only a well-crafted box keeping anything inappropriate out of sight.

Apparently, Naruto was also confused and surprised at Sasuke’s arrival, as he jumped back with a look of shock, and Sasuke heard the distant and chilling sound of jingle bells. _Where were they?_

With a smile, Naruto greeted, “Merry Christmas!”

“...what the _hell_ are you doing?” replied Sasuke, still trying to understand what was happening.

“Look, you weren’t supposed to come home this early.”

“Are you naked?”

“Nn— yes and no.”

Upon longer inspection, Sasuke realized that the bell ringing was at the end of the Santa hat, thankfully. He also saw that he was standing in a gift box, wrapped in red paper and green ribbon, fashioned to look like pants, hiding anything over a PG rating. His shoulders were draped in silver tinsel, but apparently the look wasn’t finished, since a grey shopping bag full of gift wrapping supplies was haphazardly thrown on the floor behind him.

“...what… what is this?” questioned Sasuke.

Naruto kept his grin, and threw finger guns up at the other. “I’m your present! Isn’t it great?”

“...sure, yeah.”

“Come on! What do I gotta to make you like it?” Naruto folded his hands together, and batted his eyelashes. “You can do whatever you want to me?”

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Babe, I just got off an eight hour shift on Christmas Eve. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m not in the mood.”

“Alright… cool…” Naruto sighed. “This is a terrible present, isn’t it?”

“No… it’s--”

“You don’t have to lie. I’ll go ahead and be honest with you… I didn’t have a gift for you. And I panicked. And did this.” He gestured to the box. Sasuke _really_ hoped he wasn’t naked under it. “I didn’t know what to get you. I procrastinated until today, and now you have my dick in a box.”

While yes, it was a fucking terrible gift, Sasuke didn’t want to hurt his boyfriend. Thinking quickly on his feet, he came up with a lie that sounded like something he would say.

“I don’t care. Christmas has been commercialized to the point that the original meaning of the holiday has been lost in all the tinsel and ribbon and Hallmark movies. I’d rather not support such a meaningless tradition that completely ruins what it’s supposed to be about. I just like spending time with you.”

Naruto smiled. Sasuke smiled at that. At least he got over it quickly.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. Especially since Sakura already knew this was a terrible idea and made me buy you this to go along with it.”

He turned around, and bent over to pick something up, which _wasn’t_ a very good idea and Sasuke had to shield his eyes to keep from laughing.

“Sorry, you can open your eyes.”

Sasuke did so. At the beautiful sight in Naruto’s arms, Sasuke gave a gasp. He was holding a box printed with _the most amazing thing in the world_.

“You bought a Keurig?!"

"Yeah, I meant for you to see it tomorrow, I was just about to wrap it--"

"Gimme!"

Snatching the coffee machine from his arms, Sasuke immediately marched into the kitchen, intent on finding a pair of scissors. Naruto ran in after him.

“I thought you said Christmas was too commercial?”

Sasuke dug around in their drawers, pulling out a dull knife, which was better than nothing. He just needed it open now. “Yeah, I just said that to make you feel better about getting me nothing. I didn’t know you got me a Keurig!” He stabbed open the tape with a smile. “This is awesome! Tell Sakura that she’s a _great_ boyfriend!”

Naruto watched as he opened the box, and pulled out the dark contraption. After being somewhat ignored, he looked down at what he was wearing, and realized he had been pushed aside for coffee by his own boyfriend. When he went through all the trouble of _making this stupid thing_!

He rocked back on his heels as he said, “Hey, I’m still naked… and standing here… waiting…”

Sasuke snorted, which probably wasn’t a good sign. “Thanks, but no thanks. You can just return that. I’m in love with this now.” He plugged the machine into an outlet, and grinned when it lit up.

Appalled, Naruto gestured to his body. “I wrapped myself in tinsel!”

“Then unwrap yourself! Let’s drink some coffee!”

* * *

With a warm cup of coffee to melt away the Karens and kids of Christmas Eve, Sasuke felt himself smiling as he snuggled into Naruto’s side, who was dressed in his usual sweats and graphic tee. As a Hallmark movie played in the background, Sasuke looked up at his boyfriend.

“This is a great gift. Thank you.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m glad you’re happy. I just hope I don’t procrastinate next year.”

_Next year…_

At the thought, Naruto’s eyes widened.

_Shit. What the hell am I gonna do next year?!_

**Author's Note:**

> _told you it was terrible, sorry. i hope you have a merry christmas!! :3_


End file.
